Have you ever been in a situation where you feel you have let down someone because you focused on your life and ignored everyone?
Well, there is no shame to this, it is a normal. At some point you will need to focus on your life because that person is not running away.
That was what I felt too. She won’t run away run away.
Exactly! She reached out to me that her husband was behaving negligently to her and it was important that I come to see her. At first, I felt it was a normal couples hostility situation, they will eventually settle it.
I don’t have to put my mouth in what doesn’t concern me.
I told her I was going to see her some weeks after.
To be candid, it was my final exams time and it is not easy to make out time for even me. My girlfriend accused me of not making time for her but truth is I had lots of schedules that kept me busy. My routine starts 6am and ends 10pm. I always swoon to the bed as soon as I get to the hostel. This was my explanation to my sister when she asked that I see her after another altercation with her husband.
I guess my girlfriend couldn’t bare it again. She needed to find her way out. She texted me that morning that she was opting out of the relationship. I tried to make her see reason but her defence was she want nothing with someone who won’t even remember her birthday.
Oh mi gosh!!!! Her birthday?
Perplexed, shocked and drained… I got another call from my sister that evening that she needed to see me urgently the next morning.
Auntie, you can wait oooo! You will have to wait!! My girlfriend just broke up with me. You think it is easy? This is the girl I told will be the mother of my kids. Let me settle her before coming to you. You are in your husband’s house. I am just building my life.
I expected her to hang up but she didn’t. She was just sobbing.
I hung up myself jare. My girlfriend is of utmost importance.
I got to her hostel to explain the reasons for what happened but she won’t come down to see me. I decided it was a punishment of love. I slept at the entrance of her hostel that night. In the morning, she reiterated that she was not joking. IT IS OVER!
I really lost interest in everything. I wanted to die.
For two days, I switched off my phone and didn’t attend class.
Bunkmates noticed me. They eventually dragged me out and cheered me up. It is not easy to lose a girlfriend of three years. The memories, the bliss, the fun, the plans, they all come like thunder and clasp at the head.
Some weeks later, I was beginning to settle to life all over when I remembered my elder sister. I remembered she said it was important we see that night. I dialed her contact. It was her first daughter who picked up.
“Where is your mommy?”
“Uncle! My mommy say you are a wicked person. You didn’t come to visit her on her hospital bed (tears) She really wanted to speak to you that night. She said you are the only one she wanted to talk to. Not even grandma!”
Dazed, really surprised, “where is she?”
“She is dead! She wanted to see you badly”, that voice was obviously the voice of our mother.
I really lost energy to live.
If you were in my shoes, I don’t know if you would have done better
It is 45 years of my Aunt’s death but I still can’t say if I did right or wrong. All I know is I did what I thought was right. If I could have my Aunt stand in front of me, I would explain to her why I took the decision. Sadly, she has left for long. I lost both ways. My girlfriend left and I didn’t get to hear my Aunt’s parting words.